Pitch: two Buddhist monks and two Manhattan call-girls room together at the
Alamo. The monks are blind, the call-girls lapsed Christian snake handlers.
Challenges include estimating the number of dots in Seurat's "Une Baignade,
Asnières," and the rewards include getting to shoot the blind monks with
paintballs. Soon the girls debate fiercely in the hot-tub such matters as the
Schrödinger and klein-Gordon equations, spatial derivatives, and the complex
relationship between advanced string theory and giving head . . . and then the
monks get toasted while singing Ich Hab Mein Herz In Heidelberg Verloren.
Romance ensues. And only when the Mexican army storms the fort does the
voluptuous blond call-girl discover that the emaciated monk is her long-missing
step-cousin. Then the other monk reveals that he is gay, which everyone
suspected, and the voluptuous call-girl with the red hair and astonishing jugs is
no longer deemed the She-Bitch-to-end-all-She-Bitches . . . because she
confesses that she's the one who stole the Bowie knife. Tragically, the
Mexicans lose patience and open fire, and in the final credits Seurat's dots get
losse and go bouncing everywhere.