Mary Magdelene is the rage these days,
but I knew her long before the rest of you
in Miss Wallace's 7th grade homeroom,
in Toledo, when she had braces
and we used to snap her bra at recess.
She was pale as a grub and her red hair
and freckles made her look more than a little
like a skinny freak, and once I saw her remove
her retainer on the bus and so almost lost my lunch.
never once did we imagine she might end up
as J.'s hottie or his wife (as some claim),
and we would have giggled at the thought
of her washing his Holy stinky feet
then drying them with her unwashed hair,
or having her seven sins cast out because
she probably was a slut. There was a rumor
going around that she had oral sex with Charlie Gannon
in his basement (and his thing got caught up
in her hardware), but the main thing I remember
about Mary was a time I saw her outside a Chuck E. Cheese
about a month after my entire world imploded.
She was standing there swallowing and looking stupid,
and suddenly, out of nowhere, she told me how sorry
she was about my mom, and all I could think to say
was something I've regretted ever since, all my life,
every single solitary day, especially since I don't know why
I said it: I said, "It should have been you."