13thWR

BEING BANDERAS / by Dustin Du Cane

"Will you be my Banderas?, she asked.

She was looking in my eyes for an answer. Could be decisive. It was a difficult question. I could give a banal answer that would guarantee instant gratification or a truthful one that would offer lifetime happiness. I
decided I would give her the chance.

"Which one? He has been many men.", I told her. I was looking back into her beautiful eyes. The moon shone softly on the beach.

"A vengeful guitarist turned pistol packer from, fuelled in his murderous quest by a lust for revenge and hatred? A man who lived only to kill, broody, beautiful, burning up inside . Artist turned warrior?", I asked. The
previous film, had been better even though it had lacked Banderas as it protagonist.

"Or the musician who didn't turn into a killer and simply played the mambo so beautifully. Sex in musical form?", I asked again.

I didn't give her time to answer, "Or the menacing mustachioed figure who leaves his children in the care of a hotel boy whilst he spends the night dancing and drinking with his beautiful wife? She loves him more than her own children. She lusts for him and he takes care of her in his own inimitable way. Gangster, lover, father.", his role had been perhaps the best in the whole film.

"Or do you mean the ruthless perfectionist assassin stalking the master of the art of murder in order to take his place, trying to end his life to prove that he wasn't worthy of further existence, a reason for a result that
is itself a reason? Very zen", I was looking at her lips. Trying to remember other films he had played in. Ah, how could I forget this next hit.

"I liked the drunken bandit turned master swordsman and swashbuckler under the tutelage of an aged Zorro. From asshole to hero in within a month. And he ends up a daddy at the end as well. It wasn't too deep or very likely but it was fun", it was getting a bit chilly but still we continued. Perhaps she
'd snuggle up.

"Do you remember him as the failed rapist who pretends to be a mass murderer in order to save his matador master from imprisonment? I didn't like that character much. Couldn't rape, couldn't fight, couldn't love", I wondered why I mentioned this incarnation. Perhaps as a counterpoint to the previous
character.

"The role of a boxer didn't really suit him but I enjoyed him being forced into a situation where had to fight his best friend", I quickly changed subject.

"You don't want me to be a gay lawyer tendering an HIV-positive lover. You don't have AIDS, I hope", I hoped.

Changing subject quickly, "Che is an extremely interesting character. Revolutionary turned Minister of Justice, writer turned jungle warrior, charisma, energy and beauty disguising the flaws of his slogans. Carefree, I'll do anything, carpe diem, a beautiful way to live but would he have been able to live that way or achieved so much if he hadn't been so achingly charismatic? That is something we could ask about Che and Bandaras both," I noted.

"My favourite Banderas though was the Arab poet prince who ends up fighting neolithic cannibals in the company of Vikings. He had gained their respect with the blood of human animals, in place of their previous contempt. He had learned their language and their ways and learnt to respect them despite their lack of personal hygiene and primitive lifestyle. They had made a warrior out of a poet. That is something I wish I could experience", I sighed.

"Do you remember him as a vampire? Drinking the blood of humans, not eating their flesh though. Black, evil, beautiful", I reminded her of one of his more minor roles as an endnote. It would be important for her to remember though.

"Banderas is many men on the screen and we do not know who Banderas is off the screen. I'll tell you this. I will compose songs of love and strum my guitar, wish I had more time to practise, thinking of you. When I look at you my heart sings a mambo of happiness, when I'm away from you, my soul cries a beautiful three note song of loneliness, my speciality. I will avenge your death if you are taken violently away from me for my love turns to hatred easily. You are mine and I am yours and only we can take each other away from ourselves. I will love our children as I love myself but I will find time for us to be happy together alone. I am a perfectionist in what I do when appropriately motivated and you are my motivation. I live to achieve things, you are one of those achievements I wish for. I will swash buckle with a sword, did you know I'd practised at school, for you but my dancing isn't perfect. Will fight for you but I will not fight my best friend for you if that is what would decide between us. I am already a lawyer. When you are ill, I will care for you, I will care for you until you die, though part of me will die with you if that happens. I lack perhaps charisma, but I have a passion for life that only you can ignite, a passion to live beautifully and die doing what I believe in. I believe I know what being a man entails even though I wash at least once a day.", I smiled.

"Beware though of the dark side of my soul. Evil lurks inside, it constantly screams for release. I function best at night, I love the night and its darkness and I do feel a contempt for most people. Deeply hidden of course." I warned her, still smiling.

"If this is what you expect of a Banderas, then yes, I will be your Banderas. But I won't grow a pony tail nor will I become more handsome.", I told her.

And waited.