S^{imultaneously
by Aaron Hellem}

Maggie was bleeding and the birds were singing. I tried to figure out how that was possible. How the world would let both of those things happen at the same time. It was Bellevue, but not the hospital. She said she couldn't go to the hospital, but there was a free clinic downtown. She was cramping and that's when she told me she might be pregnant. I didn't know what to do. I went to reach out and pick her up, but then I was afraid to touch her. Like she might crumble. She doubled over. She moaned and said, Oh god, many times over. It was not a dream. It wasn't an air raid drill. It was really happening and she was really bleeding and the birds were really singing.

Can you hear that? I asked her.

I think I can walk, she said.

I didn't have a car.

She pointed on the counter to her roommate's car keys. He's still sleeping, she said.

He won't come?

He better not, she said.

I grabbed the keys and they felt frozen in my palm. There were too many thoughts and questions all at once. She held onto my shoulder. She smelled like a wound. We hobbled out to the parking lot and she pointed at her roommate's white Buick. The doors were unlocked and I helped her ease into the front seat. The blood was starting to seep into her jeans. Her face was going white. I said, Oh god oh god oh god. I dropped the keys and they clattered on the cement. The birds were no longer singing. They were usurped by the impending sounds of traffic in both directions. I was sure she'd bleed to death before we got there, but it was only a few miles away and in between excruciating spurts of pain she showed me where to turn.

They took Maggie into the back right away. The nurse asked me questions. How long has she known? the nurse said.

Known what?

When was her last period?

How the hell should I know?

When was the last time she was sexually active?

Why are you asking me?

Aren't you her boyfriend? the nurse said.

No.

Someone screamed from the back.

Is that her? I asked.

Are you the father? the nurse said.

I didn't know she was pregnant.

Do you know who the father is?

It's his car, I said. I pointed out the window at the Buick parked at the curb.

You can't leave it there, the nurse said.

I'm not moving it now.

That's for emergency vehicles only.

It's not my car.

I can have it towed.

I shrugged. Do I need to sign anything? I said.

Not unless you're someone, the nurse said.

I'm not, I told her and walked out the door. The keys were still in the Buick and the Buick was still running. I left it and went across the street to a Mexican restaurant where over one end of it a neon sign glowed Cantina in red letters. I didn't know any Spanish, but that didn't matter anymore. Sadness was everyone's language.

I told the bartender my Maggie was across the street. He smiled and nodded. He waited for me to say something he knew like tequila or daiquiri. She's pregnant, I said, and she was bleeding. That can't be a good sign, can it?

Si, si, the bartender said. Flies buzzed around and a lone trumpet sounded from somewhere in the ceiling.

Do you know what that means? I said.

Si, he said.

Fine, I said.

Si, he said.

Tequila, I said.

Bueno, he said. He set down a glass, a salt shaker, a dish of lime wedges. He poured two of them and we toasted.

To my bleeding Maggie, I said.

Si, he said. He crossed his chest with the shot glass and then shot it down.

I didn't even know what time it was. What day of the week it was. I'd brought her flowers, but I couldn't remember where I left them.

I don't know how long it will take, I said.

The bartender nodded. There were two more. I don't even know if they can save her, I said.

Bueno, he said. I saw a gold tooth when he smiled.

No more, I said. I waved a hand at him.

He shook his head. No mas, he said.

I gave him a ten and he said, Gracias.

Outside the sun was bright as surgery. The Buick was gone. An ambulance was parked in its place with its lights popping like firework bursts. I went right up to the nurse. Where's Maggie? I said.

She looked up at me from her stack of papers.

Did she make it?

She looked again at the clipboard. Yep, she's gone already, the nurse said.

What about the baby?

They're both gone, the nurse said.

The insides of my guts dripped into my shoes and the floor sucked me down to its cold comfort. I sat down on the tile and leaned my back against the wall. Above my head the nurse knocked on the plastic window. Sir? she said. Sir, you can't stay there. She kept knocking on the window. I stared at the double doors and the flashing ambulance parked out front. I tried to remember her smile. The sound of her laughing. She would've thought it was funny that there were birds singing while she bled to death. Let the angels lift her above this.

The double doors parted and a man stumbled in. His wrists were dripping strawberries. I heard the nurse scramble on the other side of the wall. The man looked down at me. His eyes were gray. I had an accident, he said. His blood dripped down on me.

It's not your day to die, I told him.

His gray eyes blinked slow at me.

It was Maggie's turn, I said. You're going to be all right.

He swayed and then collapsed. His legs folded up and his head knocked against the tile. His body twitched and bled. I pulled him onto my lap. Laid my hands on the side of his head. You're going to be just fine, I told him. I heard from the hall the reckless sounds of pitiful humans trying to save a life. They brought him a stretcher. They saw the blood and didn't know which one of us to take. They put him on it and then wheeled one in for me. They lifted me on it and wheeled me down the hall. I felt the blood wet all over me. Yes, I thought, Maggie would've laughed to know the birds were singing at the same time.